Steve:

Hi, Steve, welcome to the podcast.

Hi, Stephanie. Pleasure to be here.

Stephanie: Oh, it's my pleasure to have you. I was thinking before I jumped on for this today. There is something about, the globe and time zones that just messes with my mind because it really doesn't matter when anybody listens to this. All they need to know is that for me, it's today, and for you, it's tomorrow

Steve: Isn't it for me? It's today and for you, it's yesterday.

Stephanie: Now that's throwing a wrench at me. That's a curveball right there. Yes, exactly. And, you know, I would have to, make my dad proud and just, ask and make sure, do you have any lottery numbers for me?

Steve: Unfortunately, I don't. No. I have been praying, praying and hoping and still waiting like many people. Yeah.

Stephanie: Okay. All right. Well, I was just hoping that, you know, something from the future could help me out, but

All right.

Well, then we'll just, we'll just we'll just do what we, what we meant to do today then.

Steve: Yeah,

Stephanie: Um, There's so much about courage and bravery in your story that I want to dig into because, that is a piece that comes with this transition at midlife is having to make some, not always difficult, but sometimes very scary decisions. And your story really showcases this well. So let's jump in at the beginning. Will you tell me a little bit about your background, about the forces that shaped you into the person you were at the beginning of our story, which for you is like mid thirties.

But I like, many people, I mean, the understand to growing up in the seventies and eighties is really, really different than now. And I'm sure many people understand that. I mean, it sounds like the, the grumpy old person reminiscing about previous times, but life certainly was simpler. You know

Stephanie: was very different.

Steve: You know, in Australia, then we had four TV channels. I grew up with black and white. To change a channel, you had to get up out of the couch and go and turn the dial. I remember those days, uh, you

Stephanie: them. Yes.

Steve: TV closed down at night. We weren't continually bombarded. And within the context of that, I grew up in a Catholic family.

So, you know, those Catholics out there will understand the term Catholic guilt or, Protestants would go, you ain't seen nothing until you've felt Protestant guilt, you know, that hard work and die kind of ethic. So I think those were a lot of the forces that shaped my outlook on life. And more importantly, I got from my parents, I think a couple of things. One was this, almost this underlying fear of the future from their upbringing. I was, my parents were relatively old when, I was born. In other words, I think dad was probably nearly 40. Dude, watch more TV kind of thing, you know.

Um,

And, and they grew up in the aftermath of the depression in World War II.

And so there was always this unspoken almost energy of all the bad times could come back. You have to protect yourself from those bad times. And the other part of that, the remedy to protecting yourself from the returning bad times was to work really hard at school, do well, go to university, get a good job, stay in that job forever, get the gold watch and life will be happy.

And, I've got this high achiever thing going on where if I'm not achieving a lot and doing really well, I don't feel good about myself. That's still a wrestle that I have, every day. Yeah, let's not peel that bandaid off just yet.

Right.

Stephanie: All But that might be one of the ones holding you together. So we'll leave that one there.

Steve: Yeah, yeah. And, and so I did that and I did that well.

I achieved well. I got a degree and a diploma. I went into as a high school teacher. I became really, really good at that. but I also didn't love big aspects of it. And so one of the things I also did, I taught myself how to be a freelance journalist and I did, sports writing, travel writing.

I became one of Australia's leading boxing writers for a period of time and I've interviewed all the big names like Jeff Fennec and, you know, people who know boxing will understand those names. And so, I followed that model, but I've got to a point in life, and I just had this, there's two parts to it, I just had this feeling that, is this all there is, and if I can swear, this shit ain't working for me anymore.

Stephanie:

Steve: And the thing was, though, looking back, for years and years and years, I ignored that and I pushed it down.

Stephanie: Mm

Steve: And I pretended it wasn't there. Right. And I believe that was a big disservice to me and my spirit because I lost myself. I got busy in work, you know, I mean, look, I've got four children.

We had four children under five at one point. You know, like life was busy and life was crazy. And I think a lot of that was part of the distraction of if I'm busy doing other things, I don't have to face the lie that I feel that I'm living.

And that, that led to a point of a lot of self reflection and, it was, yeah, it was an uncomfortable time.

Stephanie: And that's the thing that so many of us find is that through our twenties and our thirties, and I did it 100%. We are walking a path that was laid out for us, by our parents or those older and wiser than us. Sometimes it's our grandparents, teachers. It could be, you know, whoever we're looking at for a model. And they've laid out the path of all the shoulds. You should do this and then you should do this and then you should do this. And so often, I think 2 things about that about how those paths are laid out for us.

They're laid out for us in a very loving way in that the people who are telling us these shoulds, they want the best for us. They want us to be happy, healthy, successful, safe. They want all these wonderful things for us. But the flip side of that coin is that I think a lot of times that path is laid out for us out of fear on their part.

Of you must be successful and if you don't do it, the quote unquote normal way, if you don't do it, the quote unquote right way, then you might get left behind. You might end up not necessarily needing help because plenty of people will help you too, but you'll you won't end up happy, healthy, successful and safe.

And it's interesting because I don't know that anybody of that older generation would admit to that being, a fear based thing.

The other thing I think for you, and for me, I'm only a couple of years younger than you, is that when we were coming up, the world was going through a verysignificant change. The world was evolving rapidly. We were going from that analog childhood to a digital adulthood, so a lot of the pathways that had been laid out were very much about that old way of being, and not necessarily in response to all of the, the new things that were happening and the new opportunities that were out in the world.

I think those were unsafe and untested and untried and, according to our older generation. Would you agree?

Steve: Oh, absolutely and

I'll say a couple of things about that. And this is one of the, I think almost the points of peace that I've come to understand and learn in my life is that nothing is either all good or all bad. You know, us human beings and our life, we live in this natural world and our life is like that. And you look at the natural world, we have night and day, we have summer and winter, we have storms and calm, we have wind and, peace.

And so I think one of the mistakes I've made in my life is only looking for, only accepting those nice, happy, peaceful times. And if I wasn't like that, then I was living some version of I'm not okay. And I have to, I have to change it and control it so that I feel okay, which is nice and peaceful. And, and yeah, that's ignoring a whole lot of,

Stephanie:

Steve: a whole lot of the natural world and the way that our world works.

And I didn't understand that until, I don't know, until I'd gone through that whole process, I guess. And, and so the other part of that, like that model, even though it was a fear based model, it had its benefits.

One benefit is, I do have a nice life. I live five minutes from the beach. I live on the water. I've got a lovely big home. I've got four beautiful, healthy children who are now in their twenties. I've got a happy, stable marriage and happy, stable life. So it's brought all of those good things. But it's also led to a whole lot of soul searching, a whole lot of internal, is this all there is for me in the world?

I think it's one of the hardest things that I've dealt with, I've acknowledged, I've come to accept is this light and day, dark and night. And I'm that as well, right? I'm a very peaceful, loving, helpful man when I'm not being angry and upset, discontent with my lot in life.

You know, and having almost the wisdom to accept that has been a massive challenge and hand on heart, I still wrestle with that some days, let's call it most days, you know. But that's been a big wisdom piece for me is understanding how our natural world works. And, and to only look for, accept and feel good about one side of the natural world is setting myself up emotionally, spiritually for failure.

Stephanie: Right. And interesting. Something just popped into my head. What we consider good isn't always what other people consider good. I love the summer because I'm somebody who runs cold. And so from, now until June, I will, my hands, feet and nose will be cold. And yet my husband hates the summer because he runs warm.

And so he walks outside in the fall and he, looks at the sky and says, this is my time. And so, right. I would consider the summer good and the fall winter, quote unquote bad, and he would consider exactly the opposite, so a lot of it, too, is point of view and who you are.

It's all subjective when you get right down to it.

Steve: And one of the things I will say in all of that, the other challenge for me is if it's different to what my egoic mind thought was good or bad, then it was bad. And the truth is, I'm okay

Stephanie:

Steve: through all of that. I'm okay in winter. I'm okay in fall. I'm okay in spring. I'm okay in summer. Sure. They all have their different nuances, but I'm actually safe and okay in all of those situations. And yet that fear energy that I was brought up with has almost made me look for ways to not be okay because bad stuff might happen, right?

Stephanie: Right. Right. Oh, my goodness. I want to go back to your story. So you found yourself in your late thirties. You were very successful in an educational, career and you had four young kids and you were busy and, you probably didn't have much time for reflection or introspection, but, you started to feel that, is this all there is and this isn't working.

Steve: Yeah, yeah.

Stephanie: How did those things,

Steve: first, how did they present for you? When did you notice them? And then what did you begin to do with those feelings? I think those feelings were always there. Like I said, I got to a point where I got sick of ignoring them, right? I couldn't, in those quiet moments, sit there and have another beer and turn to another game of football and think that was fun and distracting. I think that, and I don't know when this is for different people, but the distractions only take you so far until they don't.

I got to a point in education where to be honest, you say mid thirties and late thirties and yes, that's accurate. But because of the suppression of that for a long period of time, I probably finally had the courage to verbalize, and to verbalize them to want to do something about.

I've been in a school of one form or another since I was five years old. I went to a primary school. I went to a high school. I went to a university. And now I'm working back in a school. Surely there is more to life on this earth. Surely there is more to, because like I said, I was successful. I was a faculty head.

I was a vice principal. You know, big school, thousand kids, hundred teachers. Managing all of that stuff, right? It's a big tough job. And so my mind was going, actually no, it was probably my spirit was going, is that all there is to this life, working in a school? How narrow, how restrictive, and it's almost like I have a little bit of a joke, you know, when you work in an institution for a long time, you become institutionalized.

Stephanie: Yeah.

Steve: I could almost see that in colleagues, And, the other thing that I saw, older teachers, saying things like, Oh, I've only got three years to retirement, can't wait. Or I've got three more swimming carnival days left in, and I didn't want to be that guy living their life, counting down the days till I got out of something, right? That just, that whole energy just, it just didn't, there was one of those other things that were helping that rebellion. And I think I was, I've always been good at English. I was good at English at school. If I reflect I've written poetry, probably on and off for all my life.

And again, I've had this weird thing going on where I have these latent talents. And they pop their head up and I get a little bit scared of them, the creativity and so forth. And then I push them back down. And I ignore them until, I don't know, something happens and I revisit them.

And, and again, that was looking back, that's been a mistake as well. Not, not embodying or embracing that, that fullness of all I am with my creativity and my, my systems and, and, my desire to work hard and do good. And like, it was very compartmentalized and the things that were a little bit uncomfortable, I mean, I went to an all boys school, in the 80s, right, all boys school in the 80s, you don't want to make your poetry too well known, right, because boom, boom, boom, you know.

So it's, it's those sorts of things that I had suppressed and I got to that point where, It almost like, it was almost, I couldn't ignore it.

And like I said to you at the start, the other thing to satisfy that desire to write that curiosity to use words was I'd become a freelance journalist and I actually looked at going and working for a newspaper. I went and did a couple of weeks work experience during one of the school vacation times and, I really enjoyed it.

It was so good. Like there wasn't all the conflict that I generally dealt with in a big school environment. It was fun, I was creating and I looked at leaving teaching and going into journalism. And, I would have had to take a 20 or 30 thousand dollar pay cut to do that. So secure government school paycheck every fortnight, every two weeks, a mortgage, four little kids. It just wasn't practical, you know, and, and again, it was me not trusting, I mean, practical reasons, pragmatic reasons, but again, push that stuff down, push that stuff down. And so that, I think I then dropped the journalism thing for maybe 18 months, two years. It just, yeah, there's no point doing that now, kind of thing. You know, I probably got a bit down about it if I'm honest.

He's, he was called the 8 billion man. He's now dead, now passed away. Brilliant writer. He was running a seminar in Sydney and I lived sort of an hour and a bit's flight away north. And, I think it was called the Dream Information Publishing Seminar.

And I remember quite, quite clearly, it was Sunday morning. I was reading this email and Jenny, my wife, calls out. She said, what are you doing in there? You know, as in, You should be out here spending time with me and the children, you know? 'cause the kids were little and I went, oh, I'm just reading this thing. I think I might want to go to it. She said, what do you mean?

And so I was at this seminar and you know, how you do those introductory kind of things. Hi, my name's Steve, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. There was a guy at the front of the room and he said, Hi, my name is,I work from home, in my own hours. And here's me, leaving 5:30, getting home at 6, 6:30. I've gone, oh, hello, this guy's working his own hours, tick. He says, I work from home. Oh, no commute, tick. He says, I write for a living, oh, tick. And then the kicker, and I earn six figures. And it was like, oh my god, there's Nirvana, right, I've found Xanadu. He was all those things.

Stephanie: he have kids too?

Steve: Yeah, that's right. And he had four kids. Yes. And so it was kind of like, that's, that's the man I want to be, right? You're kind of my hero.

Stephanie: Well, and that's sort of the important part, right? Because all these other things, if you're a single dude or you're a part of a couple or something, there's a very easy way to justify and say, well, I could never be that. But as soon as he said, I have four kids, man. You're going, Whoa, it is possible.

Looking back, it was a really interesting thing at the time because I can distinctly remember saying to Jenny, Oh, look, you know, we've got stuff on with the kids that weekend.

I won't bother going. It'll cost money to, we can't really afford flights to Sydney and accommodation. Thank goodness that I guess the intention of my heart and spirit helped me go forward to be in that room, with that group of people, and hear that one minute of, this is my life. And this is my life was that was the life I want, yeah. The rest is history as, as you're saying.

Stephanie: Well, the rest is it's yes, it's history, but it's more than that because here's where the courage comes in. Here's where, people who are listening might be saying, sure, but you've got the stable, you've got the steady, you might even have a pension, which helps with retirement. You've got all these great things. You've got this stable, steady, life that you've built. Predictable, reliable, all of those things. And I understand that you have a spirit that is starting to get your attention, starting to cry out for more or different or something. Do you recall how you found the courage to take those steps out onto the limb? Because I'm sure it felt pretty scary.

Steve: You know, it doesn't feel scary now,

Stephanie: Of course not. Yeah. Well, you know, it succeeded.

Steve: Was. Yeah, yeah, true, right? Yeah, we're not having this call from a cardboard box on the street, right where I'm living. But I guess it was, but it also wasn't because I was moving forward. I think one of the learnings from that is that the movement, the motion, the energy of moving forward, it almost alleviates that kind of stress fear thing. What if it goes wrong?

Stephanie: Okay.

Steve: That's my memory of it is that the moving forward, but there was also, it's a really good point you bring up, right? There was a pivotal moment. By me going to that seminar and becoming in this world of business that I went to other seminars then and learn from other people.

It was one guy on stage, brilliant speaker and he's also an ex teacher and doing very, very well, you know, in teaching personal development. And I went and grabbed him before he went on stage, like it was only, maybe two minutes before he went on stage. I said, Paul, look, here's where I am, a teacher like you. I want to get out and do what you do, and he thought for a minute, and we have this thing in Australia called long service leave. If you work for a government you acquire, I think you can take it after seven or eight years, for every year of service, you get X number of days off that you can take, in a block, at a later date.

And he said, how much long service leave have you got? And I said, oh, probably, I think, three months I've got, because I took a bit before and you can take little bits here and there. I said, about three months. He said, here's what to do. You can take that at half pay, do that for six months, do your writing for six months. That will let you know whether or not it's going to be successful for you with the safety net. And I went, good, thank you. He said, got to go, I'm on stage. One thing I think I've learned, is that, When you commit to something, when you put energy into it, it's funny how called God, the Universe, spirit, whatever it is, opens doors for you or puts people and situations in your way that help you on your path. And if I reflect on, when I've been stuck, it's because I haven't been in motion or haven't been moving, and don't really know what to do. But It's almost like the energy of it, the energy of the forward movement, draws in

Stephanie: all of those things to align, things for you.

Steve: And so it's interesting looking back, those pivotal moments of that guy saying that my first mentor in copywriting going, I work for my own, four kids, earn six figures. I'm a writer. Bang. And the ex teacher saying how much long service leave you got. Take it at half pay, six months. Bang got to go, right? Those two, almost those two sentences were just pivotable in allaying fears. It is possible. I have got a safety net.

So the very next day that was on a Sunday, I think a Sunday morning, next day I went and put in my paperwork to do my six months long service leave, at half pay.

That was the, again, the, the turning point because I did, I wrestled with that. How do I do this? Like, and, it's, it's weird because, being a school administrator, I understood how all the leave entitlements work. But it's funny when it's your own thing, you kind of don't see it. And that's why having outside people who randomly, randomly were put on my path, was a big help.

Stephanie: Yes. I like the way you said that, that just being in motion brings in the things that you need to keep moving forward, right? You had the first seminar with the person who had the life you wanted. And then, another subsequent seminar and somebody gave you the key. Both, one minute interactions that gave you the keys to really, shifting your life out of the routine, the predictable, predictable, the safe to something that was going to be more fulfilling for you.

Steve: Yeah, and I think if anyone listening to this is in that stuck mode. I'm unhappy, I don't know what to do. Get out more and go to a seminar, go to that thing, even stuff that you may not be interested in. Just go. Just get in motion to do things differently. And you don't have to do everything, but do things to get in motion. It's almost like the universe responds to the motion. you get in motion, it starts putting things in your way while you sit there stuck moping, which I did for a number of years, not much happens, right?

Stephanie: That's a really good reminder. I've been feeling stuck myself for a while and, I will be taking some time off. I've finally carved out some time to go just really get away. I'm taking a different approach than your suggestion, although I love it and I might add it afterwards, but mine is just to get myself out of my normal routine, out of all the have tos and the to dos and the, hamster wheel, of just, going and going going. So I've carved out a couple of weeks that I've rented a little,house on a lake away. And I'm leaving my husband and my cat and I'm, I'm basically taking a break from my life for a couple of weeks just to think and, you know, hopefully, write, and color and draw. I don't even know, I don't even know my one, my business coach made me promise that I wouldn't make an agenda. And so I'm not making an agenda, but I just feel like I need some time kind of off the grind for

Steve: Yeah, that's beautiful. I just to be right.

Stephanie: Yes.

Steve: Why? We because we are human beings, yet our life is human doings. And like I said, to get off that hamster, well, gosh, I'm envious that that sounds and look, I'm I speak well in front of people. I've talked in front of big groups, but I'm an introvert at heart.

I'm very happy in my own company. So I'm jealous. On a lake somewhere next to water, just a week or two away, just your pen and a piece of, Oh man, that sounds like heaven to me. So I actually, I wrote a, in my book, I wrote a poem called Just Be. It's all about, you know, get out of this life and just be. Go and know yourself and be with you and be with God or be with spirit, be with the universe, get in nature, right? Like you are so right, we don't, in my view, we don't do enough with that, right? We're caught up in the concrete and the deadlines and the technology and the responding and we're almost like we're, our bodies are overloaded, the cortisol from our, you know, the stresses and everything and all the demands.

Stephanie: Yeah.

Steve: Man, just, just breathe, just go and be.

Stephanie: Yeah. My coach reminded me that, uh, I said to him, I don't think I'm burnt out, but I might be pretty crispy around the edges. And he said, well, you know what you need to do. So he said, you can either do it or you can wait for your body to do it for you, but that'll probably be like pneumonia and it won't be as much fun as doing it on your own, you know? So, I'm really looking forward to that. Just having some time to and be, yeah. And just see what my brain does when it doesn't have to do all the things that it has to do on a daily basis.

Steve: Yeah. there'll be a period of, decompression though, I think for a couple of days, you know. And you'll be waking up going, oh, well, I've got to do, oh, hang on. I don't have to do something, right. That'll be really interesting inner journey.

Stephanie: Yeah, it will be. In February, my business will be 18 years old and, while I've traveled and vacationed and, probably even taken 2 weeks off, the 2 weeks was, oh, I traveled here and then did this and, then kept a couple of days afterwards. I don't

think that I've stopped like this since I was between jobs earlier in my career, when a couple of times I had six months off between stuff and I would do some freelance work. So I don't think I've stopped like this in almost 20 years. So it's, long overdue.

Steve: Good.

The last time we spoke as we were getting ready for this, you talked about how it would have been so easy to carry on pretending that life was going well and that, that things were okay, were enough. You said that there was a, a subtle, sadness about that. Can you explore that a little bit? I wish I could remember what I said now. That sounds really cool. Yeah. Yeah, it's I think I what I mean by that it's it's almost like waking up in the morning and going here we go again.

Stephanie: Mm hmm.

Steve: But, everything's okay, so I'm gonna get dressed, go to work, and then I'm gonna come home, and in those quiet moments, I'm gonna go, I didn't really enjoy that, and, I could squash that down. I could ignore it. I could, pretend it wasn't there

Stephanie: hmm.

Steve: for periods of time and then it would come back. And then I could pretend for periods of time it wasn't there. And then it would come back. And I think it's a really good phrase, a deep sadness. You know, because that continual, it's almost like a eroding of life force energy. Man, is this, you know, actually I even feel it in my heart now just dropping into that, right?

It's a sadness that is, is this all I was put on the planet to do? Am I really living my truth? And if I'm not, that's sad. That is really sad. And. I guess one of the other things too, I don't want that to sound overly dramatic or melancholic because I know that, it doesn't matter what season, I'm okay.

Sometimes it doesn't feel like that, but I know that I'm okay. But if my story has taught me anything, it's not to ignore that voice for too long, because it's almost like your higher self, your spirit God, whatever you relate to. Just give me a little tap on the shoulder. Just give me that, you know, and you can go, go away, go away. You can do that for so long. But then, you know, then there will, be times to listen. And like you said, Stephanie, your, your business coach said, sometimes you get a big kick up the butt from the universe health wise. You might lose a job, whatever it is.

Sometimes, it won't be a fairly smooth and easy path through it, it will be a big slam and that's when, okay, I'm awake now to, to what it is, right? And yeah, but if you do feel that sadness, one, it's okay and you're okay, but don't ignore it forever, you know, get in motion about that.

Stephanie: Yeah.

Steve: That would be my advice, if I may.

Stephanie: Take, take your life off autopilot. Yes.

Steve: Very easy to get caught up, right? We on that hamster wheel.

Stephanie: Yes. Right. Go into manual and start making some conscious decisions and some conscious choices about things.

Even if you just start with little things, like what's for dinner, right?

Steve: I'll share with you this one. This was pivotal for me, in the early stages of this. I went and bought the book, by Abraham Hicks.

Stephanie: hmm.

Steve: Oh, name just escaped me, the teachings of Abraham, Esther and Jerry Hicks. I'm not, you know. Anyway, there's a whole lot of processes, at the back of the book to work through. And I can remember, being in that sadness that I know there's more for me here. That period lasted a long time, several years because I can be stubborn and egotistical and I don't need to listen to that gentle but really strong, quiet voice, right?

My mind's got this sorted out. My mind can control things and move things around and so I don't need to do that. and I remember I did it most mornings before I went to work to almost realign my spirit and my thinking. So that I could have, a better day. And actually this is probably one of the secrets as well.

Thank you for helping me go down that rabbit hole. One of the other things. I don't know if this resonates or not, but when we're not in a comfortable situation, on that and the negative energy emotion around that is almost a block to the next thing.

Stephanie: hmm.

Steve: What I've found, and I don't think I've articulated this before, was that when I was in acceptance of the situation and in a state of almost equanimity within myself, because of the different techniques and the different teachings that I'd done and the different personal development stuff that I'd done, once that kind of energy had been neutralized, it was easier to find or go to the next thing.

So if you, my, my experience is if you are in this angsty sort of period, find, because there's so much out there now, right? There's so much on YouTube and dah, dah, dah, dah, so many books and courses and you know, I can, I can,

rattle off several of them.Find what resonates for you to help take that, 'I hate this' kind of charge, out of it. Because my experience tells me that when you neutralize that charge, it helps the transition into the next thing. But it's almost like until you can accept and love you where you are and acknowledge you where you are, even if it's not comfortable, until you can do that in whatever method or methods you choose, it's really hard to move to the next thing.

That's really interesting. Thank you for going down that little rabbit hole.

Stephanie: Yeah, yeah, no, that makes total sense. Right? If you are so invested in the negative energy around not being where you want to be, you're just digging the hole deeper.I like what you said about neutralizing that energy about, about where you are, even if you're not where you want to be, you can just come at it a little bit more level, maybe the hole fills in under you. It comes a little closer to, level ground and,you can work your way out of it.

Steve: Actually, I'll give you an example of just, this is really simple. I still use this technique today. It's one of the Abraham Hicks techniques. It's called the placemat process. And we've mentioned several times here how busy we are in life, right? The placemat process is really interesting.

You take a blank piece of paper, draw a line down the middle, line over the top. On the left hand side, you write things I will do today. And you write your to do list. And then on the right hand side, you write things I would like the Universe to do for me today. And then you write down your other things, right?

And I remember going through that, like, dealing with a lot of conflict back in education, the call from head office comes in today to fix up ABC, whatever it might be. And so do those two things, just bullet points, you know, might be four or five or six on each side.

What I found was that with me doing nothing, I was still busy doing my to do list on the left hand side, the things on the right hand side of that paper, within a day, maybe two days, without me doing anything, would actually happen. At least in part, if not whole. So that call would come through. The staffing issue would suddenly be resolved. You know, oh no, Mary and I have sorted it out, you don't need to do anything. Yeah, you guys have been at war for six months and now it's all fine.

So, I mean, and that's just one small example of finding a technique to neutralize that negative charge.

And instead of me sitting there in the morning, Oh gosh, I've got to go to work and deal with that thing from head office. I've got to manage the conflict between Mary and Beth or, you know, these guys have been at themselves for six months. And I would just write down what those things were,Mary and Beth conflict resolved, and just forget about it. Go about my day. Oh, look at my list at the end of the day. And that happened, that happened, that happened. Fascinating process, right? Why it works? I don't know, but it just does. It's called the Placemat process. Yeah.

Stephanie: I love it. I will be, trying that one myself, because we all have to do lists and they feel so heavy. But if you could give some of that up to the Universe or whatever it is that you believe in or, or look towards. If you could let the Universe carry some of that weight and do some of the things on your to do list or some of the things that are weighing you down, I can imagine that would be, really quite, exciting.

Yeah.

And he explained the process like it was like, man, I'd forgotten about that. And I, that was my reminder that even in, the business marketing environment, that process is still really good.

I first saw it, the Esther and Jerry Hicks, the placement process. yeah, but that was just one example of those processes that helped neutralize, the stuff, the energy, which was kind of almost keeping me trapped.

You know, hate, hate, hate, dig, dig, dig, dig, it's so hard, so hard, so hard. Something to neutralize, some pattern interrupt, if you like. And that was, that was a really useful one. And like I said, I still use it to this day, especially use it when I'm stressed or I've got a lot on, right?

Stephanie:

Steve: Fascinating how it works.

Stephanie: That sounds like stressed and have a lot on that, that, yeah, that sounds familiar to me. So it's, it sounds like it's time for me to implement that and give it a try.

Steve: At the end of the day, screw up the paper, put it in the bin, start with a fresh bit of paper the next day.

Stephanie: Right.

Oh, Steve, this has been so great.I want t to thank you so much, not only for sharing your story, but for also, leaving me and our listeners with a great tool, a great exercise to help, carry the day to day load. So thank you you so much for joining me today.

Steve: Thank you. My pleasure, Stephanie. And hopefully that's, opened some doors for, for people.

Stephanie: Yeah, certainly did for me.

Steve: Wonderful